Elizabeth Stein 00:00
Hi, everyone. I'm Elizabeth Stein, founder, and CEO of Purely Elizabeth. And this is Live Purely with Elizabeth, featuring candid conversations about how to thrive on your wellness journey.

This week's guest is Kute Blackson, a beloved inspirational speaker and transformational teacher. He's a member of the transformational leadership council, a select group of 100 of the world's foremost authorities in the personal development industry. Winner of the 2019 Unity New Thought Walden award, Blackson is widely considered a next-generation leader in the field of personal development. His mission is simple. To awaken and inspire people across the planet to access inner freedom, live authentically, and fulfill their true life's purpose. Kute is also the best-selling author of Magic of Surrender and you are the one. In this episode, we talk about Kute’s journey and where his interest in spirituality and personal growth came from. We discussed overcoming fear and pursuing one's true calling, following one's vision, surrendering and its role in personal growth and manifestation, finding one's deeper purpose and mission, and the steps to get there. And lastly, Kute walks us through a mini masterclass on manifestation. This was such an inspiring conversation. Keep listening to learn more.

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Kute, welcome to the podcast. It is such a pleasure to connect with you. I'm so looking forward to this next hour just to feel great in your presence. So welcome to the show.

Kute Blackson 02:42
Thank you for having me.

Elizabeth Stein 02:43
So let's start with your background, your journey, and really where your interest in spirituality and personal growth began.

Kute Blackson 02:54
Wow, I think it began in my childhood. It began the moment I was born. In certain ways, I had a bit of an unusual childhood, although I didn't think anything about it because I thought everyone had my childhood. And so I think one of the blessings was, it didn't seem very special to me. And that was a blessing in a certain way., I was born in Ghana, West Africa, my father is from Ghana, and my mother is Japanese. I grew up in London, I live in the US now. But I always felt like a bit of an outsider. I never felt like I fit in anywhere. And I think that was also an impetus even unconsciously because it put me on the path of seeking. After all, I didn't feel like I was African. And I didn't feel like I was Japanese. I didn't feel like I fit in the UK. And so I think at a very young age, I started to ask myself the question, who am I? And where do I belong? And so as a young boy, I always felt a deep calling to make a difference in people's lives. I wanted to impact people. I had visions of inspiring people, I just didn't know specifically what that would look like. So my first memories as a young boy, remember being around age six or seven, I was lost in the ground, and 1000s of people. And I remember seeing a crippled woman pick up the sand, the gravel that this man walked on, wiped it on her face, and stood up. You could call it a miracle. So week after week, I grew up seeing blind people see and deaf people here and people stand up out of wheelchairs. And so the same man, who she picked up was my father. He looked at a woman in a wheelchair and he would say, “Hey, stand up, you're not sick.” And so he was considered the miracle man of Africa. A very spiritual man, a very mystical man, went to India in the 60s and had an awakening experience, yet had 300 churches in Ghana, hundreds of 1000s of followers, and a huge church in London, 4000 to 5000 people literally every Sunday. This is how I grew up. My mother is Japanese, and I grew up meditating with my mother as she grew up in the Buddhist tradition. So when I was eight, that's where my speaking career began. Because I started speaking in my father's churches. When I was 14, I was ordained as a minister. And I was given the mandate to take over my father's ministry, and everyone was happy, but me. Because deep down in my soul, I knew that this was not my life path. I just felt a different calling in my life. But I think like many of us again, I was too afraid to speak my truth. My fear was, that if I dared to be honest, to speak my truth, then I would be alone, I'd be an outcast, and then I would lose my father's love. So for years, I said nothing. I tried to be who I thought my father in the world wanted me to be and became miserable in the process. So when I turned 18, that was a pivotal moment in my journey that set the foundation for what I do now, as a transformational teacher, author, and speaker. When I was 18, I felt my soul calling me to come specifically to America, because as a kid, I would sneak into my father's office, and he had 1000 books on his bookshelf, self-help books, and spiritual books. And I would read everyone from Osho to Krishna Murthy to folks like Wayne Dyer, Louise Hay, and Deepak Chopra. As a young boy, I thought of a calling to come to the US when I turned 18, it was so undeniable for me that my soul said go to America, find these people that you admire and read about. And all of them happen to live at least in the US, but most of them in Southern California, LA, San Diego, Santa Barbara, or southern San Francisco. So for me, this was the Mecca. I think that when your soul guides you to do something, it often doesn't make sense to your mind. When your soul guides you to do something, it's often not convenient. When your soul guides you to do something, it often doesn't make sense, because the inspiration and the guidance of your soul do not arise from your logic or your conscious mind. It's arising from an unconditioned dimension of your being. And yet, I think many times we block the guidance and the intuition because we have a constant need to analyze, understand, and control life. What I found for myself at a young age, I started there, and I've endeavored to follow my soul to love my entire life. And for me, it's been a key, what I found is when we follow our soul, and we're obedient to our soul, that's when I find you will always be guided, you are always being guided, you will always be guided in the right place at the right time with the right people doing the right thing, even though the path that you take may not be the one that you must expect. So when I was 18, I felt this guidance, I felt terrified because I chose not to go to university, I had no college degree, had no money. And I knew I had to speak to my father. I knew I was not going to have my father's support. And so what is an 18-year-old going to do? So I renounced everything and had a conversation with my father Long story short, I think this was my initiation into manhood and another level of my spiritual journey. Because at that moment, I ended up winning a green card in the green card lottery. And that's what enabled me to come to the US, with two suitcases $800 in my pocket, and just following a dream and a vision. And I went and found the mentors, teachers, authors, many of whom we've all heard about, study with some of them. And a couple of years after being in America, I felt another calling in my soul. And that took me traveling. I wanted to deepen my spiritual practice. That took me to Israel to study, hanging out with some rabbis, to Thailand to study and hang out with some monks, ended up in India, walking the Camino in northern Spain, but ended up in India and had some awakening experiences. It was my time in India that cracked me open to another dimension of life and understand my purpose and why I'm here in reality. So that's when I came back 21 years ago and began coaching people before coaching was a thing before it was popular and started working. One person showed up and another person showed up and people's lives started to transform I started to create my methodology and way of working with people and life changed. It just evolved. It just evolved into small groups and larger groups speaking around the world and two best-selling books.

Elizabeth Stein 09:32
That’s incredible. I love hearing about that journey. And I feel such a believer in listening to that intuition and have felt for myself, really being in that flow state and where things are just connecting and working and you're following it. I want to dive into all of that. But before we get there, I'm curious to hear from you when you were 18 and you had such a pivotal point where you decided I could continue on this one path, or I could push through this fear and have the courage to speak to my father and tell him what my true calling is. What was that thing that got you over the edge to work through that fear? And how do you now look back and tell people? Because in life, that big trigger is getting through that one big fear.

Kute Blackson 10:29
I think people have this illusion that you have to get through the fear and you have to get over the fear and you have to work through the fear and then you take action. I was terrified before. And it took me four years to muster the courage to have the conversation. But mustering the courage doesn't mean I wasn't afraid. I was still afraid. I remember the day I went to speak to my father, and have that conversation. I was trembling, walking up the stairs to my father's room, because he was iconic to me as a father figure. I was terrified. But the truth is, I did it anyway. And I think that's what we have to do, we have to acknowledge the fear, feel the fear, and still take the step. For me, what happened also was, I projected into my future. And I saw two paths that I could follow the expected path. At ages 20, 30, 40, 50, 60 as I projected and I could follow the path that was laid out for me, but I felt and saw the consequences and the life I would be living, which was maybe a good life, but I knew that something was not truly aligned. And I allowed myself to feel the pain of that. And I saw that you cannot be truly fulfilled and happy being someone that you're not. You cannot be truly fulfilled and happy living someone else's version of your life. And that was such a pain when I felt that. I felt like I didn't have a choice. So I will say it took me four years to muster the courage, but it took me four years where I had to allow myself to grieve, to make peace with the worst-case scenario. I think if you can make peace, not intellectually, but emotionally with the worst-case scenario, that also frees you, but that doesn't mean you stop being afraid. But it frees you a little bit to take action and have the courage. So for me, the worst case, what's the worst that will happen? I lost my father, I will never speak to him again. He will never speak to me again. And I'd be abandoned. As I sat with that, I'm not saying it was easy. But as I began slowly to make peace with that, it freed me up. So before I had the conversation with my father, I made a level of peace with the fact I may never have a relationship with him again. It took me years of grieving. So part of the freeing the freedom was I grieve the loss and the end of the relationship with my father, and I let him go. And that letting go in that grieving of the end, which was a heartbreak, freed me up so that you could say I was ready for the worst case. The worst case was, that we would never speak. So by the time I had the conversation, I had made peace with the fact that we may never speak again. I'm not saying it wasn’t a difficult shall. Even after I had the conversation with my father, I was still terrified, still heartbroken. Sometimes people think that when you find your purpose, and you follow your purpose, and you follow the calling, life gets easier. It's like the violins play, angels come out. I think sometimes when you find your purpose in life, that's when things get more difficult. That's when things get more challenging. That's when you face the problems and difficulties and the challenges of life. Many times, people think that when they face these challenges in the pursuit of the purpose they're on the wrong path, I think that in fact, you're on the right path. Because when you are following your purpose, you're following your soul, you will often have to face challenges and soul tests that you have to go through to evolve, learn, and grow. Those tests force you to become the person who is capable of fulfilling the dream and the vision that you're seeing that you’re called to, and that you're trying to manifest. And so many times people give up when they face those challenges. And so maybe if someone's listening, and you feel like I'm on the path and following my soul yet, life seems to be falling apart. There's nothing but challenges, you're probably more on the right path than you think. So I would just say don't give up. There were many times when I wanted to give up, there were many times I wanted to turn back. There were many times I didn't think I could continue. But there were many times I was terrified. I remember when I had a conversation with my father. That was one of the most terrifying moments. Because here I was, no support from my father, only my mother, but no support from my father. No college degree, no education, no money, nothing. All I had was my soul guiding me to go to the US. And I'm 18. I have no skills, no trade. What the hell am I gonna do with my life? Working at McDonald's? And so I remember sitting there, and I said a prayer. And I said, “God, universe, God. I feel like you've given me this vision. And I know the vision is real, I feel it. So if this vision is real, then I'm not crazy. I need your help. I need to know that this spiritual stuff works.” And I surrendered I said, I've gone all in. And within a week, someone handed me a magazine called The Economist. I felt a strange feeling. I looked at the back of a magazine, it says the American government's giving away 35,000, green cards in the green card lottery. That's when I knew. I'm like, wow, I feel like this is the clue from the universe. So I believe that even if you're scared, when you go all in and you follow your soul, and you follow the guidance, that's when the universe supports you. Even if you're scared, I would like everyone to know that those dreams that you have, that vision that you have, it chose you. The dream chose you. Do you think you've chosen the dream? And you might be wondering how the hell am I going to manifest this. That shows you for a reason, it shows you because you are the perfect person to fulfill the dream and the vision. Everything you've been through every pain, every hurt, every trauma, everything in your childhood with your parents, and all of that stuff, we’ve all been through stuff, the successes and the failures, everything you've been through has been part of the perfect preparation for you to fulfill the vision, the purpose that your soul is calling you to. So I think when we realize that you start seeing that maybe your dream doesn't belong to you, it belongs to life. Because if it belongs to life, it doesn't belong to you. It belongs to life. So if it belongs to life, then life knows how to fulfill itself. It knows how to fulfill itself through you. So I think the key is when we have the vision, if we're in our ego going, oh my god, how's this gonna happen? Oh, my God, it won't happen, then we stay in here. But if we're willing to surrender and say, okay, I may not know how this is going to happen. I'm terrified. I have no idea. I don't even know if I'm qualified. I just know that this is in my heart, the key is to say yes to it, a full open parted yes. When you say yes to it, you open yourself to receive the blessings of life. And I think that's when the magic happens. That's when life can flow. That's when life unfolds because I think life knows how to unfold the vision that it has. You and I are the vessels for the vision to express them.

Elizabeth Stein 18:46
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So as you talk about surrendering and letting go, in your most recent book, The Magic of Surrender, I would love to hear a little bit about where these experiences are the inspiration but can you share a little bit about the principles, first of all, what is surrender? And I think that there are certainly some varying ideas of what that means.

Kute Blackson 19:55
This was not the book I wanted to write. Let's just say that. So people, understand. This was not the book I planned to write. This was not the book I would have chosen to write. I tried to write every other book with this, to be honest. And one day, I wrote 75 different book topics and ideas on a whiteboard. None of those felt real. The only word that I wrote that felt authentic was the word surrender. I resisted it until I had to surrender to the book. It was seeking to be written. Sometimes, what we think we want is not truly what is seeking to happen. So yes, there is this, I would say misconception about surrender. I think for me, this is what I'm so-called to and passionate about helping people understand. This misconception in surrender is the idea that surrender is weak. Surrender is passive, surrender is giving up, and surrender is waving the white flag. That is surrendering, you won't manifest your goals dreams, and desires. In surrendering, you're going to get left behind, you're going to be a doormat, you're going to be taken advantage of, you're going to get less in life. I'm saying no, if you understand the true essence of real surrender, what if you didn't get less in life? But what if you got more? More than you could have planned more than you could have imagined more than you could have visualized with the limited mind of your power and ego? Maybe not what you expected. But what if it was better and beyond and outside of the scope of your current level of imagination? And so I think for me, that's the possibility of surrender. So I believe that. I don't speak from theory or sort of book knowledge, I speak from my life experience. My life has been a complete experiment in surrender in all ways. And I think if we all look at the best things in our life that have happened, meeting that person, falling in love, most of us didn't say at 7 pm, I'm gonna go to Starbucks, I'm gonna meet my soulmate. It just happened in the process of genuinely living life itself. And so I believe that surrender is the most powerful thing that we can do. I think surrender is the real key to the next level of our lives. I think that surrender is the real secret to manifestation. And it's the password to true freedom. So to set the framework, yes, surrender means letting go of control, or I should say, the illusion that we are in control in the first place, control being a master addiction. Surrender is when we stop trying to force and manipulate life, to fit our limited idea of how we think it should be and how we think it should look. Surrender is when we see the limitations of life, and we let go of who we think we should be, the life we think we should be living and how we think things should be so that we can be available and open to the life that is seeking to unfold, the life that is seeking to emerge, the life that is seeking to express. In terms of the old paradigm way of manifesting creating and living is all about the ego-based model for living life. Get clear on what you want, you got to know what you want, you got to write it down, and then go for it. Now you can create this way. You can create a good life this way. But what I have found is, it will be a limited life in some way. Because when you're creating from the lens or the paradigm of the ego, the ego is limited to past conditioning. It is not infinite, it's not unlimited. And so what we end up creating in some way will be limited. At some point, I think we've all had the experience where you manifested, you got what you thought you wanted. And then you realize that what you thought you wanted was not what you wanted. It was just what you thought you wanted based on who you thought you were. And you're like, is this it? This is not what I wanted. So you set the goal, like what do I want? I want the car, I want the house, I want their body, I want that man, I want their husband, I want the wife, whatever it is. And then you're like, no, it's not what I want. Because many times our goals can be projections of unmet needs from childhood if they didn't feel lovable. So if I can just achieve that thing that I think is the goal, that's not the goal, I just think it's the goal that's going to fulfill me, that's what we drive to manifest. And so for me, that's a different question. The question becomes it's still fine to set goals, but I call it soul setting. Soul setting is a bit different, where you are aligning with your soul first, and then moving into action, which is a slightly different way of operating. It's a different way, it's a new way. I think this is the real code for true manifestation where you ask yourself the question, what is it that life is through to express to me? What is it that life is seeking to manifest? What is it that life is seeking to unfold for me? What is it that life is seeking to write through me, to create through me? What is my soul seeking to manifest, what is God, the divine, infinite, intelligence, the universe, seeking to express through me? And allowing oneself to open to that vision, to catch that vision, to be receptive to the deeper impulse, the deeper creative expression, the deeper truth that is seeking to express through you so that you can feel what that truth is, which may not always be what your mind tells you, right? You can feel what the truth is and then you can align to intention, your personality, your actions, your goal setting, your money, your marketing your strategy with that deeper truth, and then you go into action. And that might mean you work harder than you've ever worked. But now you're working in alignment with what's true, not just the ego mind. You're working in alignment with your soul. And now you go into action, you give 100%, without attachment to the outcome. So for me, that's the essence of surrender as a whole.

Elizabeth Stein 26:15
So when you're working with people in trying to find their purpose and their life's calling, and maybe for people who are struggling to feel lost, or find what that is, that's where you start first? Or is there somewhere else where you begin to help give them that approach to finding what their calling is?

Kute Blackson 26:45
Well, calling is a bit different. So here's what I would say, if someone is like, well, I don't know what my life purpose is, I would say great. Many times, we try to sit down and strategize and think about what our life purpose is from the level of the mind to, the level of the ego. And ego is conditioned. So often what you end up thinking that your life purpose is, is not always what your life purpose is. It's just what you think your life purpose is, rather than what it truly is. And so many times we're trying to fulfill dad’s or mom’s or society's expectations about what we should be doing, rather than following our true authentic calling, our true alignment, and dharma. If you're seeking your life purpose, there's a bigger context and spiritual piece of advice I'll give you and then I'm gonna give some specific practical things. I would say first, stop trying to seek your life purpose. Trying to find and seek your life purpose is taking you away from your life purpose. See the ego that we mistakenly believe ourselves to be, it wants to seek and never really find. Because seeking is what keeps the ego alive. And so the constant, “Let me seek my life coach, I'm always trying to find my life purpose, I have friends that always find my life purpose, it's been 10 years, I haven’t found my life purpose.” If I'm always seeking my life purpose, I don't have to put myself out there and give it because I have to get clear on my life purpose, so I can encapsulate it into a little mission statement. So here's the thing. Your life purpose is evolutionary in many ways, and what your life purpose might be today may not be what your life purpose is in five years and 10 years because it's going to evolve as your consciousness evolves. So rather than seeking it, there are two things. Number one on a spiritual level, we have to realize that we are sold, we've incarnated into the human experience. Life is like a University or school for growth and evolution. Everyone, every experience, every situation is part of the curriculum for our soul’s growth and evolution. And so you could say the purpose of life itself. The purpose of our human incarnation is to grow, evolve, learn lessons, and become more of who and what we are. So you could say that the real purpose of life and the purpose for all of our lives, regardless of what we are doing, I don't care if you're a janitor, a CEO, Elon Musk, a school teacher, business person, salesperson, those are just things that you do. But the true purpose is evolution and growth. So you can be living your purpose, the ultimate purpose of your life, regardless of what you're doing. Your job is not your purpose, your true purpose as a human being and as a soul is evolution. You are evolving when you are learning and you are growing. So in any situation, whether it’s a break-up, a heartbreak, or you're unemployed, ask yourself the question. Why did my soul attract this situation? Why did my soul attract this person? What is my soul seeking to learn in this job right now, even though I hate my job, and I don't think this is what I want to do, what is my soul seeking to learn from this boss, from my co-workers? Because so long as you are growing and evolving and learning the lessons at that soul level, the deepest level, you're living your true purpose. So your purpose is growth, your purpose is evolution. And so long as you're growing, you're fulfilling your purpose as a soul in this human incarnation, that sort of biggest spiritual level. It doesn't matter what you do on some level. What matters is who you’re being and the growth. That’s number one. Number two, some of you now might be saying, okay, I got that spiritual, bigger level, and I would love to do something that lights me up, and I feel aligned in terms of what I'm here to offer in this lifetime. Great. I would still say, stop seeking your life purpose. You don't have to know what your life purpose is to move in a direction and start living it. What I would say is take a step, and go in the direction of what lights you up, go in the direction of what turns you on, go in the direction of what makes you come alive, go in the direction of what you love, just go in the direction. I'm not saying that's what you'll be doing. But if you take a step, and you move in that direction, and you lean into the door that opens there that you feel an energy or something and you lean in and you follow, as you take a step, life will reveal to you the next step in the process of taking the step. So each step you take, life reveals the next step, each step you take life was an extra piece that will take life it was revealed